Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Hey Scott F. Richmond

You're not going to get your all-expense-paid trip to Las Vegas if you keep missing all those bats.


Speaking of bats, The Only Goth Jays Fan™ thinks it's awesome that there's a bat on Vernon's bat.

Monday, April 27, 2009

In Heaven...

In heaven, it's 29° and sunny. You have a beer in one hand and a hot dog in the other. The Jays have the hottest record in baseball. Dr Andrews absolved our young ginger pitcher as healed and whole. The voice from the broadcast booth is... Joe Carter.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Oh Ye Of Little Faith...

I confess, I didn't want to listen to the game on the radio tonight while I was at work.

(Scott Richmond) - (Michael Barrett) + (opposing team with hot offence) = ( :O ) and LJ being too nervous to get any work done.

But damn, I did the 6-49 Happy Dance around the office when I checked in online to see the box score and saw Richmond's line. I just about melted in my chair when I got home and saw the montage of nasty strikeouts. Even Mike Wilner is having himself a cuppa Koolaid.

It's easy to forget that although Richmond is 29, he's still a rookie and still on the learning curve. He had years off of baseball; it's not like he was burning his arm out sucking for a decade.

I absolutely love it when guys perform beyond expectations and silence the impossible-to-please negative asshats. I firmly believe in fair criticism, but like I always say, let 'em play the damn games. You can not know for certain what is going to happen, so if you can't be open-minded, shut up.

I went to a pair of autograph signings this week. Long story short: (a) even the least enthusiastic Jays were polite; most were sufficiently smiley and fun, (b) Scott Richmond was very smiley and fun, despite yours truly being a great big giant dorkwad, and (c) Michael Barrett is made of 100% awesome. Judging by the gesturing and goofy photo poses, I have some hope that the baseball gods answered our prayers and his shoulder isn't as bad as originally thought.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Dear Baseball Gods

Please give the man on the left a break. He's already broken his junk, then he broke his face. Can you make this one not nearly as bad as it looked? TIA.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Apr 15

That's more like it, #(48-6).

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Pointless Points

  • Well, it's been some week, hasn't it? What a fun ride so far. The '09 Jays can win, like, 300 games! The magic number is 156! The bench guys strive for for two hits every at-bat! Playoffs!!1

  • Pop quiz, to see if you were paying attention to today's broadcast. How many of Richmond's midgets did it take to put second base back into the ground? Answer below!

  • Ricky Romero & LL Cool J: I do see the resemblance now.

  • I made two fantasy teams on one fairly serious, not messing with the pre-rankings and letting the auto-draft do its thing. My other team was goofy, named The Mooseheads after the empty bottle I was staring at, bleary-eyed and slightly hungover. They are almost exclusively Jays and Canadians. Guess which one is cleaning up right now? Thanks, Lind, Votto & Co!

    The last time I participated in a fantasy league, I made an all-Jays team, typical teenage fangirl that I was. I finished in the top 20. (By the way, the year was 1992.)

  • I'm getting a slight kick out of playing Sportsnet's Game In The Game. I'm sure I'll give up on it once the novelty wears off. I'm already frustrated by a repeat high scorer. Even a pro scout shouldn't be that lucky two days in a row predicting the outcome of so many in-game situations. It's impossible. My BS-detector is going off.

A: All three.

Saturday, April 11, 2009


Kevin Millar is so awesome, he hit into what should have been an easy double play, did a faceplant on his way up the line, and managed to get on base safely.

Today, he similarly knocked the ball out of a Cleveland glove with his awesomeness when he should have been a dead duck.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Pretty Good Friday

Scott Richmond is so awesome, he has his own trio of midgets.

Thursday, April 9, 2009


“I told him (Nick Adenhart) congrats for making the team and that I had been watching him all spring training,” (Mets pitcher Darren) O’Day said in Cincinnati. “Last year he had all the talent in the world but couldn’t figure it out. Then he figures it out and six hours later he’s gone.

Godspeed, Angel.

I have had to deal with too many young guys dying this spring. Stop now, pls?

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

The Dry Tuesday Night Game

"It's a little different today," Jays manager Cito Gaston said. "We'll miss the other 30,000 people."

I'm sorry, Cito. I had to work. :( Otherwise, I would have just gone for the dollar weenies and just gotten drunk outside of the Union Station LCBO

"'They took it all out of the clubhouse,' Gaston said. 'I haven't opened my fridge yet to see if there's any in there.'"

<understatement>"'I don't think too many Canadians are going to be happy about that,' quipped Blue Jays starter Scott Richmond."</understatement>

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

It's the Most Wonderful Tiiiiiiiiime of the Year!

I'm just going to keep the curtains closed today and not look at the slushy white mess out there. It's spring and baseball is back.

What a game. Miraculously, despite sitting just four rows from the roof, I seemed to be in the only section of the Rogers Centre with zero drunk retards. Goodonya, Section 527. The guy with the green horn thingy was creeping me out a little, though. (I think it was a guy...)

I do find it a little amusing and typically Canadian that a bunch of fans were being all bad-ass, causing so much trouble that they stop the game... and what was causing all the commotion? Broken beer bottles and weapons offenses? No, paper airplanes and baseballs. It reminds me of the guy who pied Jean Cretien in the face.

To the fucktards who acted like they were on a pub crawl, harassing Tigers fans and/or throwing shit onto the field... go die in a fire.

Anyhoo. I certainly hope last night's game was a preview of what we're going to see all year, especially the offense. Adam Lind and Travis Snider mashed it. "'We were having a good time in the dugout every time one of us came in after a big hit, giving each other some love,' said Snider. 'That's how me and Lindy are, man, it's a real good working relationship, a good friendship off the field and it should be exciting.'" Aw, spring brings bromance into the air!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Gooooooood Morning!!

It's pissing rain, but the birds are singing, the coffee's hot, and... oh yeah, IT'S OPENING DAY.

See ya at the game!

Tickets - check.
AM radio - check.
Camera - check.
Beer cup holder thingies (2) - check.

Friday, April 3, 2009

...And Another Thing:

Last night, The Fan 590's Alan Ashby reacted with incredulity at Jesse Litsch's fielding abilities. He mused (to paraphrase) that Litsch was like the big, fat cat you have lying around your house that does nothing but eat and sleep, but can take off like greased lightning.

I don't have a hate-on for Rance Mulliniks and Jamie Campbell like a lot of people do, but it bugged me when they made similar comments about Litsch last summer.

Alright, I know the kid probably eats a few too many cheezy poofs and he could stand to lose a few ell-bees, but where do these guys get the idea that only thin people could possibly have decent speed and reflexes? Have they never watched football?

I'm in the military and I've seen hundreds of people come and go through our unit. Lemme tellya, strength and speed come in all shapes and sizes. Having a Hollywood body means F-A. So can we be wowed when he grabs those come-backers and just leave it at that?

Saturday Morning Whining

This post is brought to you by pseudoephedrine, dextromethorphan, and the number 1!

I'm doped up on every pharmaceutical and immune supplement known to man to try to conquer a nasty cold by Monday. This is ridiculous. I've been sick since last Saturday.

Obligatory whining about Joe Inglett packing for Vegas: I'm bummed, but not surprised. It sounds like that was a given all spring:

"We've talked to Joe about it," Gaston said. "He said: 'What do I have to do?' And I said, 'Joe, you're right, you've done everything you could.' It's just a matter of numbers and fortunately he has an option."

You would have had to walk on water out to Caladesi Island and turn the Gatorade into wine, Joe.

Hey, no one ever said baseball was fair, right?

(By the way, if you're like me and your eyes usually glaze over at the talk of waivers, options, and all that baseball business crap, head over to former Jays former assistant GM Bart Given's new site. He does a nice job of 'splaining it. I'm starting to get it.)

...and then there's Scott Richmond. He had another meh-tacular start on Thursday. I've been a fan since that bratinee last July and I'm not giving into the peer pressure and jumping ship anytime soon... but honey, yer fuckin' killin' me. I'm rethinking my plan of Richmondizing my blank jersey.

I think I'm going to have to go to Shoeless Joe's to watch Richmond's April 10th start, to get a pint in me first so I don't chew my nails off.